It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
