He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
