covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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