I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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