I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
