I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
