I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
