I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
