This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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