she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
