i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
