ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
