you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
