Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
