sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
