Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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