Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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