i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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