Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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