like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Fuck appropriateness.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
