just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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