oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
