birth control should be required to get into college
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
