you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
And then he peed in my hair
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