there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
MIDGETS
????
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
