i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
