HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
