she looked like the before picture.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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