listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
