Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
