I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
