it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
