Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
