they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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