do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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