Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
