wrigley field is MILF paradise
You can't special order awesome
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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