Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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