there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
