you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
