My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
