Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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