Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
