She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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