I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
