after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
