I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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