She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
