Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
