Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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