It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
BRING THE BAGELS
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
